


Moving Day

by midnightstreet



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Cacti - Freeform, Dialogue-Only, Husbands, M/M, Moving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29174751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstreet/pseuds/midnightstreet
Summary: Two months and sixteen days after the wedding, David and Patrick pack up the apartment.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 32
Kudos: 109





	Moving Day

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd (and written in about 10 minutes). I hope people enjoy these little dialogue-only ficlets, cos they really help me not, like...give up on the whole writing thing!

“Sheets?”

“Check.”

“Blankets?”

“Check.”

“Picture frames?”

“Check.”

“Your very phallic collection of cacti?”

“David—”

“Hey, I’m not judging; our kinks don't always have to overlap.”

“It’s not a— Ray gave me those!”

“Mm.”

“They’re just a decoration. And a traditional housewarming gift, apparently.”

“Whatever you say, honey; I’m confident enough that I don’t feel threatened by them.”

“Well thank god for that. Okay, so, checklist done? We have everything?”

“Between my attention to detail and your spreadsheet kink—”

“David.”

“—all the contents of your apartment are present, accounted for, and in the appropriate moving boxes. Have I done enough work yet to warrant pancakes?”

“You haven’t carried a single box, David.”

“Did you really expect me to? If the answer is yes, this marriage was entered into under false pretenses.”

“Alright, fine, you can save getting sweaty for...later.”

“Don’t waggle your lack of eyebrows at me, Mr. Brewer; I’ll have you know I’m performing a crucial function in this move.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Well, someone has to supervise the movers!”

“David, currently I _am_ ‘the movers’.”

__

__

“And you’re doing a great job, sweetie. That sheen of sweat is really doing things for me.”

”And here I’d been worried.”

“I’m here to motivate you.”

“Oh yeah? And how are you doing that?”

“Well, a certain husband of mine — not naming names — told me I look particularly attractive in these pants—”

“I believe the term I used was ‘fuckable’.”

“—and the sooner we get all of this to the cottage and unpacked in the correct rooms, the sooner we can christen each of those rooms. One at a time.”

“...fine. Bend over that box and remind me why I love those pants so much, and I’ll stop talking about this.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want you to question my work ethic.”


End file.
